Tried the flavored ones? You know what we are talking about! This couple did and this is one hell of a story! Take a look!
One day – it was the eve of his birthday – he called me and said that he’d forgotten to pick up condoms, so would I do so on my way to his house? I said I would. Being a girl and buying condoms from a shop is an annoying thing to do in India since people stare so much (and so judgmentally), but I’d done it enough times before to have grown used to it.
En route to his house, laden with birthday presents, I stopped my cab and walked into a pharmacy and asked for Durex. They didn’t have it. The only brand they had, they explained looking very embarrassed, was Kamasutra. It was not a brand my boyfriend liked much, so I asked them to show me what all they had. Naturally, they looked like they were going to have a heart attack at my question. Anyway, out came the three packs with a great degree of reluctance on the shop assistant’s part. Ribbed, dotted, regular. While I was trying to make up my mind about which one to pick (and wondering if they’d actually have a heart attack if I called Aman to check what he wanted), I spotted another pack lurking on a shelf – Kamasutra Surprise.
“Woh kya hai?” I asked, pointing. Since it was his birthday, surprise did seem like an appropriate sentiment. Speechless, the guy reached for the pack and handed it to me. I read the label – it was an assorted bunch of flavoured condoms. (I forget whether it was a pack of six or ten – this was a good five years ago.) The label didn’t specify what exactly the flavours were, but I decided to get it anyway. I was very curious and willing to be surprised myself by now.
I scrambled to my knees and took him into my mouth. And then almost immediately jerked back, my face scrunched up in horror. It was disgusting. Not only did it taste like a condom, but also quite distinctly like a banana too. So, overall, given the texture of rubber and the taste, my boyfriend’s penis felt like nothing more than banana-flavoured jujups – minus the sugar, of course, with an additional element of EWW-ness thanks to the horrible feeling of latex.
“See, I TOLD you it was a bad idea!” Aman complained. “Yeah, you were right,” I agreed, looking woefully down at his penis. He was still turned on, while my arousal had disappeared the moment I’d actually tasted the condom. And that’s when it occurred to me for the first time that Aman’s penis was quite banana-shaped. So here I was, on my knees, staring a banana-shaped penis shod in a banana-flavoured condom. My brain could not handle so much absurdity any longer and I burst into peals of laughter. After a good two minutes of laughing hysterically, I explained to Aman what I was about. He swatted me on my butt out of exasperation and stalked off to the loo to get rid of the condom and wash up.
I guess it’s kinda obvious that we didn’t end up using any more of the “surprises” from our little pack of delight (NOT). We just stuck with good old-fashioned oral and using our hands. The next morning, the first thing we did was to go to a shop in his neighbourhood and pick up regular condoms. Obviously, we had loads of sex for his birthday breakfast
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